"The Major Record companies surely present exceedingly lucrative
openings for aspiring 'creative accountants'. How else justify signing
an idiot and spending improbable amounts of corporate money in an attempt
to foist this idiot upon an unwilling public..unless of course, by collusion
one stands to make a handsome personal gain."
1. It's mid November '92 - the band receives an excited call from Richard
Brown, A&R Director at EastWest Records (part of Warner Bros). He
wants us to send him a demo tape immediately. He says if we invoice him,
he'll see that we get paid for our trouble. We duly dispatch a copy of
Fecund with a neatly typed invoice for £4-30. No response from Richard,
predictably he cancels our proposed meet by 'going down with the flu'.
A week later I get a call from a young lady in the Warner accounts department
asking about the Ablemesh invoice... "We can't quite make it out.
Is it for £430 or £4300? ".
Well, truth to tell, we were a bit shocked by this open invitation
to extort money from Warners, but sniffing an opportunity to pull someone's
leg, we couldn't resist playing along with the idea that Warners could
mistakenly be about to mail the band a cheque for £4300 and sent
the following memo to the affable Mr Brown......
"Suffice to say, we found the determined generosity of your colleagues
very persuasive and trust it will be equally straighforward claiming for
the curry we ate in your absence last Monday evening".
2. Word has it that Ablemesh have found a handy new method for promoting
their Fecund extended nine track CD, EP, LP, MC, DCC, MiniDisc, MicroDot,
MacroSpeck. This involves selective Product Placement of the band's cassettes
in non-participating stores in their home town Milton Keynes... ie. going
into Woolies and Co and placing dummy Ablemesh Product in its rightful
place (with an insert telling the reader where they can get mail order
copies). To our knowledge, this is not illegal and each valuable placement
costs less than the price of a stamp.
3. Past months have been curiously eventful for Ablemesh. We were delighted
to find a review of Fecund commanding 3 column inches in February's Sky
Magazine. The verdict 'Painfully dry and sharp. Grunge urgently required'
was particularly satisfying. We have now decided to write songs entirely
without the aid of distortion pedals and pin-ups of lank haired American
Vikings. Hence the new material being penned for Summer release (4-track
demos available on request) will pertain more to the character of Fish
and Chips than Big Macs.
4. In December the band was helped by a cast of some twenty drama students
to put together a promo video of 'Made', a song intended to engage thought
about some of the issues involved in anorexia . The final edit contains
over 90 cuts in 2-20mins, a bit of an achievement. Copies have been sent
to Dance Energy, Access All Areas and MTV but the first public viewing
is likely to be at the Milton Keynes 'Brit' Awards in March where the
band are nominees in several categories.
CD copies of two previous releases, Shareware and Fecund, reside at
MK County Library. Next release due this Summer.
Ends | 17 Feb 1993
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